. perhaps a little side-shot – like a modern version of a Heidelberg saber scar. All honorable service. Riley won’t get a medal for this. We’re not fucking green berets with purple hearts flowing out of our asses. This is a hard army. You don’t get medals for nothing in this army. Riley didn’t do anything heroic and that’s the nub of us. We’re anti-heroes. We are anti-Gung Ho. The last thing we care about is heroism. All we do heroism-wise is drag a wounded comrade off the street. The rest is all fear. We crawl from house to house, hearts beating, bowels loose, sweating till we stink like pigs, heads pounding, We are the anti-heroes. We practice making ourselves very very small. We want to be small and skinny and insignificant. Every cell of our bodies screams out TARGET TARGET TARGET when we’re on patrol. We laugh at Green Beret movies—we don’t give a fiddler’s fuck for patriotism. We put in time. We see people walking down the street minding their own business and feel we’re there. "A little, what seems to be the problem?" "I don't really know," I said, "I was driving and all the sudden a cloud of smoke and the 'idiot' light came on, everything else seems to be fine." "Let's have a look, here" he smiled and leaned into the engine along side me. I got a whiff of aftershave that made my juices start boiling and I hoped that I could get 'lucky' today! His teeth were straight and white, and his arms were rippled with muscles and I longed to have him wrap them around me and kiss me with that beautiful set of lips. "Seems to be you broke your fan belt, Mame," he said. "Oh," I said, "then I guess I need a tow truck and get it to a mechanic?" "No problem," he smiled again, "I've got it all covered!" "Oh No, let me at least make you a nice lunch, I've got a picnic all packed in my truck, as I was headed for a nice cool water spot to spend the day." He picked up a cell phone from his front seat, dialed a number and called a tow truck and a mechanic friend; and had my car.
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